Ego can be a very dirty word in our society. It is clear that ego is what drives many poker players forward. However, there is a widespread perception that it is bad to be driven by the ego - probably because of the ego concepts imposed in adolescence or even because of the immorality of the ego.
The truth is that many of history's great men and women have been motivated by ego. Not just ego, of course. But the desire for greatness and fulfilment is the oldest and most powerful human motivator. Poker players are no exception. Money doesn't motivate as much as hardship or the thrill of self-realisation. I don't want to convert you to the ego or convince you that it is "good" to be selfish. My opinion is simply that ego is a great help to players who put a lot of work and energy into improving their game. We should know the power of the ego so that we can not only curb it, but also harness its power at the right moment.
Almost all the best players were motivated by ego rather than money, at least in the beginning. I have thought long and hard about why that is. Most poker players who start out in low limits have the goal of making a lot of money so that they can live large and luxuriously. But only a few achieve their goal. Why? What is the role of the ego in this situation so that its motivation is lasting?
This is probably because, in reality, it's not so easy to make money in poker. This may sound like a contradiction in terms, because chances are that you, too, have bought into the notion that poker is a great way to make a lot of money, and you may have already made some yourself. The truth is that in the long run, most players don't make any pings at all. Not only do they not make any money, but they waste their entire bankroll once, twice or many times before they become successful. Poker is not easy. And if money were the only thing that motivated you, there would be plenty of situations where you would question your choices.
But maybe there is something else. Why don't we see the best players coming out of poverty? Why are we not seeing such players emerging from the slums of Brazil, China or India? Why is it that out of the millions of people who are really desperate for money, who are really smart, hard-working, resilient people, there is not one famous poker player?
It could be argued that this is due to the online poker culture, which is not widespread in those areas, but the same trends can be observed in our world. Online poker players do not come from the lower classes, and most of them are independent adults. It is the ego that motivates them and pushes them forward, not money or fame. Ego has a role in our lives. In the context of poker, the ego is the feeling that we are better than the other players. We inherently want to be better than other poker players. In psychology this is known as perceiving horizontally rather than vertically.
If you think of skills horizontally, you assess your skills in relation to other people in your environment. If you think about your skills vertically, you think about how you have improved by comparing yourself today and yesterday, today and last month (in general, men are more likely to think about skills horizontally, women vertically). In a sport like sprinting, it's quite easy to see your skills vertically. You just measure your personal best times and try to improve them. But poker often forces us to think more horizontally.
How high your winrate is, how rigorously you pick your game, which opponents you isolate, even what you choose to learn - all of these skill sets are relative to your opponents. Someone who is successful in one situation against certain players may not be so successful in the same situation against others. And the same level of skill may be much less valuable six months later. So, by extension, we will not get away from the fact that we have to look at our skills horizontally, because that is the structure of poker.
And it's beginning to look like ego is inseparable from poker. We have also already discussed that it is a strong and constant motivator. So where is the problem then? What is the dark side of the ego?
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