To take control of the stories told to us, we must harness certain beliefs of the mind. This would simply be a perspective or interpretation through which reality is viewed. Such beliefs are especially important in poker (and in life), so let's examine them more closely.
Let's start with the most banal example – a half glass of water. You can see this glass as half full or half empty, depending on the beliefs prevailing in your mind. A simple shift in interpretation fundamentally changes a person's perspective on this glass.
In the same way, self-awareness also heavily relies on these mind-limiting beliefs. A downswing simply creates new mental limitations, e.g., “I am completely unlucky, I am punished when I should be rewarded, I don't deserve this, I will go down, I am losing money,” etc.
Thus, emotions are linked with labels, the victim role, and decline.
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But we can reverse this perspective, also using mental beliefs. Using the same set of facts, we can interpret and contextualize them in a way that benefits us. For example, instead of thinking “I am punished when I should be rewarded,” change it to “How I handle this downswing defines me as a poker player.”
And the belief from a label turns into a challenge. Instead of the belief “I don't deserve this,” the victim role, change it to “Everyone experiences downswings, this is mine, I knew it would eventually appear, and here it is” – an acceptance belief.
We can also deal with the decline belief “I am going down,” by changing it to a progress belief “Thanks to this downswing, I am improving.”
The combination of the last two beliefs is sometimes called the fog of variance. It is very powerful in dealing with a downswing.
One of the reasons why it's so hard when a downswing hits is that we believe we are the only ones unfairly punished.
No matter what we do or how well we play, when the downswing period comes, it seems that poker punishes us and only us.
In poker, there are two competing ideas describing variance: the first, that we alone create our graphs, and the second – that we are victims of the whims of variance.
People often oscillate between these two theories, not really choosing one (and the truth is somewhere between these two ideas). But it would be most beneficial to fully embrace both.
Instead of imagining poker as a monolithic entity, treating one person fairly and another unfairly, let's imagine variance as isolated for each person.
When you face a downswing, instead of thinking “It's unfair that poker chose me to punish with a downswing,” think “This downswing was inevitable. It's my part of the mountain. Eventually, I had to face a downswing of this size and duration, so it's happening now.”
Just as when climbing mountains, seeing that the next segment of the mountain will be particularly difficult and time-consuming. Does the climber curse and say: “I don't deserve this part of the mountain, it's unfair that the mountain treated me this way”?
Of course not. For the climber, it's just part of the mountain. It would be foolish to climb a mountain if you plan to remove the toughest parts. So what's different in poker?
We think poker is different because somewhere in our minds we carry the belief that we shouldn't experience downswings. Everything could be different. Variance could just choose to be kind to us.
In fact, there is some truth in such thoughts. Variance simulators, forum posts show great graphs, and all those Cinderella stories confirm the idea that if poker were good enough to us, everything would be much simpler.
However, although technically true, such a perspective, such a belief can be particularly harmful.
We must choose the variance beliefs discussed a bit earlier. We must imagine that our variance graph is already pre-drawn.
There is no new momentary decision or trickery. The variance that awaits us is like a mountain we have already started climbing. We cannot yet see the variance we will face; it is still covered by a fog curtain.
But despite that, we must understand that it will be here, that it is simply part of what poker is, and that we must accept it from the moment we decide to play poker.
There is only one problematic mental belief, and that belief is related to money: “I am losing money.” You might immediately think: “How can I change this? If I am losing, it's a fact. I can't deceive myself in this place.”
Let's think for a minute about how we define downswings. If a particularly edgy player loses everything in a week, he might declare “This week I had a downswing.” But to whom? Notice, such a person defines the starting point at the beginning of the week.
Now imagine he wins for three weeks before that. Why do we agree that he had a week-long downswing? Why don't we say it lasted two weeks? Or three? Four? It's very subjective to determine the starting point in your self-awareness.
So, if your lifetime graph was going up and suddenly started going down last month, why do you decide that a downswing has started? Why not choose instead that you experienced wins for the last four months?
Or even more – that you experienced a continuous rise from the very beginning of your career?
Such a mental belief could be called “one long session.” Because it's very subjective to decide where what we call a downswing begins and ends. Once we understand this, we can decide for ourselves where we want to draw the lines.
And then let's choose the start of our career. So every session played won't be the one where you reached a new upswing or downswing. You are simply in a continuous flow that you started when you began playing, and which will continue throughout your poker career.
You don't even need to take responsibility for certain days, weeks, or months when you were a good or bad player. You are completely free from such a burden. You no longer need to experience fluctuations as separate, pain or glory-bearing events. Instead, you can embrace the whole story, from beginning to end.
Sounds nice, doesn't it? Easier said than done. Can you truly accept everything as it is? Can you sit and think after a series of losses: “Well, my poker career is developing quite well anyway”? Of course, it's not easy.
However, this skill can be developed through sincere and conscious practice.
