Previous part of Mental Game of Poker: Bad beats stories, jealousy
5.4 The bridge of unwillingness to lose
Losing is part of every competitive environment. And in poker, it is common, because variation is part of the game. In no other game does a better player, even the best in the world, lose as often as in poker.
The fact that you lose is far less important than how you lose. You lose one hand and a little frustration sets in. Then the losses pile up, and the frustration gradually turns to bridge.
Most of you reading this section will know that variation is part of the game. You would like to make friends with it, but deep down you hate it. Logically, you understand that variation is part of what makes poker profitable, but that logic isn't enough to prevent you from the bridge.
When logic is no longer sufficient, it is usually a sign that some important information has not been taken into account, which requires a bit of thought to process. The first important question to ask is why don't you like to lose?
- Is it a feeling? Defeat is usually horrible, a feeling that lasts a long time and affects other aspects of life.
- Is it about money? Winning money is essentially what success in poker is measured by, so it's no wonder you don't like losing.
Nothing will make you learn to be happy when you lose or celebrate when you are knocked out of a tournament, but the following sections can help you to come to terms with defeat and accept it as part of the game.
5.4.1 Competitiveness
No matter what you are competing for, being competitive is a good quality. It's a quality that most successful poker players, athletes and business people have. Competing naturally creates a strong desire to win, which is a good thing. Being competitive in poker is not an inherently bad thing. Wanting to win money, beat your opponents, and make a profit every session are solid goals. But in the short term, they are beyond your control.
Everyone will agree that sometimes there are very profitable situations where we lose to bad players. We understand all this logically, but the moment it happens it becomes difficult to follow logic.
To find out why losing is such a big problem, let's first find out what good you get out of winning, apart from money. Every time you play poker you put more than just money on the line, so it's worth taking some time to define those things. Here are some examples:
- Being better than your opponent;
- Possibility to pay taxes;
- Achieving your poker goals;
- Respect from people who think you're making a mistake playing poker;
- Trust;
- The ability to go up by limits;
- Other people's opinions about your game;
- The time, energy and work you invest in poker;
- Better chance of early retirement;
There is always more at stake than money. You're competing for the above and more. When you lose, you lose not only money, but also trust, respect from others, or any of the other things on the list. You don't like to lose because the stakes are much higher than you think.
Defeat becomes more bitter when you assume there will be more defeats in the future. The feeling is even worse when you can't imagine winning at all. This kind of guessing about the future makes it even more fervent bridge. When you believe that there are more defeats to come, there are additional reasons to worry today.
This type Bridge The solution starts with a better description of the real problem. Being competitive is not the problem. Getting frustrated about losing is not a problem either. You have goals, you have a lot at stake, and getting frustrated because things don't go according to plan means that you care about the things you invest in the game. Also, a little frustration can motivate you to work harder on your game. Successful athletes always channel their frustration in this way, but this can only happen when the extra layers of frustration that can lead to anger, hatred or rage are removed.
Based on the information in this section and considering the points below, find your unwillingness to lose Bridge the cause and the right solution:
- Define winning. Because winning is more than just money, try to understand what other factors are influencing you and how to fulfil them. This is especially important when it comes to things that are difficult to measure, such as respect, effort and achievement. For example: How will you know if you can go up by limits? A win means that your bankroll consists of 60 entries. When will others start respecting you for what you do? Winning means that you have managed to support yourself for five years on poker income, and if you are not respected after that time, that is not your problem. When will you realise that you are better than your competitors? Winning means having a better winning hand, or winning by playing many hands against each other.
Write down the answers to all the factors that mean winning for you. Read them each time before you sit down to play. There is usually an automatic assumption that when you lose, you lose everything you signed, but this is not necessarily true. It is possible that you are actually winning without realising it.
- Stop assuming that defeats will continue. The assumption of losing is false because it implies that you believe that your future predictions will be 100% correct. However, this will not be the case. To counteract this assumption, do the following exercise (but do it when you are relaxed, or at least not frustrated):
Take a look at the high and low points of your poker career graph. This will help you see the bigger picture. When you lost in the past, you also assumed that the failures would continue, but they did not. Keep reminding yourself of this fact and you will eliminate the frustration that would otherwise build up.
LOGIC IS INSERTED: DON'T LET VARIATION HAVE A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU AND RUIN YOUR GAME.
5.4.2 Spent money
Another reason why you don't like to lose is thinking that the money you lose is gone forever (this is especially true in HU, where the player wins and immediately runs away from the table). Instead of thinking of money as something that is won or lost every time you sit down to play, it is better to think of it as an investment in your edge, which over time will yield a profit. This thinking may seem logical, but the very fact that losing money tiltinate, demonstrates that you are concerned about short-term wins rather than long-term results.
When thinking about money won and lost, it is advisable to follow the rules of the business world. In many business areas there is a very big difference between money you have and money you count as income. For example, a retail shop offering up to 30 days cash back understands that money is actually earned after that period. Until then, the money is actually kept in the cash register, but is not yet counted as revenue. In poker, if you think that all the money you win in the short term (especially when you are lucky) belongs to you, then it is understandable to be very frustrated when you lose what you have not yet actually earned. Very often the seed of unwillingness to lose is planted when you assume that everything you win is your income.
Unlike in business, in poker it is difficult to know whether the money you lose really disappears forever or whether it is just an investment in your edge. Some players think only about their winrate - if they lose one buy-in per hour, they instead think they have earned their average x$ profit per hour. If that thinking helps, then do it. Just be prepared for the fact that after a longer period of time, your actual profit may be lower than expected.
Some players consider the use of an hourly rate as a way to rationalise losses. But such a calculation only becomes reliable when the hourly rate is calculated on the basis of large numbers of hands. Regardless of how you view losses, never assume that money won in the short term is yours unless you can prove it.
EMBEDDING LOGIC: THE MONEY ON THE TABLE IS AN INVESTMENT IN THE ADVANTAGE YOU HAVE. IF YOU LOSE AFTER PLAYING PROFITABLY, THEN THE LOSS IS TEMPORARY UNTIL YOU MAKE +EV DECISIONS AND STOP IMPROVING.
CUSTOMER HISTORY
Jordan "iMsoLucky0" Morgan
Tournament and mid-priced cash NLHE player
Before meeting Jared, I already had a Full Tilt sponsorship and had experienced success in many tournaments. I wanted to switch to cash poker, but I was having problems with bridging. I was chasing losses, jumping limits and basically a degenerate gambler. When I lost, I always said to myself: "I have to get that money back; I have to lean back; I can do it; I am in control". But I was in control of the long term, not the short term, and a lot of my problems were solved when I realised that.
The improvement came quite quickly. The very awareness of what was going on in my head solved a lot of problems. Warming up before the game and taking notes afterwards helped me to identify my Bridge signs, which helped them to deal more quickly and effectively with their psychological problems. I am now calmer, more realistic, less idealistic and I understand that some things in poker just have to happen.
EMBEDDING LOGIC: I CAN'T ALWAYS PLAY PERFECTLY, BUT I CAN PLAY THE BEST I CAN AT THE TIME.
ALTHOUGH IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE IT NOW, I HAVE AN ADVANTAGE IN THIS GAME, BUT IT DISAPPEARS WHEN I TILTINU.
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