You have to surpass yourself, your consciousness. Step down from the throne and examine your entire system with Newtonian objectivity. Look. This is who you are. This is how you think. Examine not just the surface, dig deeper.
No matter what, your mind was not designed to play poker. Your mind resists it. Probabilities, doubts, cognitive shifts, constant immense stress, and downswings hinder your efforts to fully commit to this wonderful and impatience-inducing game. But you still feel good. You promised yourself not to get too attached to your mind. You accept everything that poker gives or demands. Ultimately, poker is a battle against human irrationality. Mastering poker means mastering the human apparatus—the mind. It's a journey. And perhaps, if it weren't so difficult, if it were completely easy to observe yourself, poker wouldn't be such a dynamic, profitable, and energetic game. Maybe we should be grateful that it is what it is.
So, you have to face the task. Question yourself. Push everything aside and allow yourself to feel the truth, examine yourself through the eyes of another person, as if seeing yourself for the first time.
Tell yourself the truth. The ugly truth. What do you want? Where are your skills good, where are they bad? What are your failures and successes? What do you lie to yourself about? No one else will answer these questions for you. You can lie to yourself if you want, no one will stop you. There are no shortcuts. No secrets.
What do you think about others? What are you afraid of? What do you want most from poker? What does it mean to play against you? If you can't answer these questions for yourself, ask those around you. If they don't know either, ask your enemies. Somewhere in the middle, between them and your perception, lies the truth of who you really are. You have to seek it.
The question demands to be asked. Who are you? Throughout your career, you will ask this question many times. But it depends only on you whether you are ready to face the answer.
