The dark side of the ego comes out when the ego is insulted - of course, first and foremost in the form of losing. If a poker player has a strong attachment to his ego, he may react tumultuously or even aggressively to a situation in which he is less skilled than he thinks. He may bridge, have a temper tantrum or make bad decisions. What's more, the ego often clouds our efforts to analyse ourselves properly. If you have an uncontrollable ego, you will tend to think you are better than you really are, so you are more likely to play in bad matches, not recognise your own weaknesses, not leave matches at the right time, not want to admit that you are the weaker player, etc. The ego causes most players to just waste money in the long run.
So the ego has its pluses and minuses, but we cannot do without it. It is too important for poker. While an uncontrolled ego can be damaging, at its best it can be a powerful force in helping us achieve more. Let's not give up the ego, let's simply tame it.
I have always felt that self-care is the single most important skill for a poker player. Noticing yourself is a bit like saying to yourself: "This is who I am. This is where I need to work, and this is where I'm doing great. This is what beats me. I can also be wrong in thinking that." When you're playing poker, the most powerful thought you can have is: "This guy can beat me." No matter how bad a player he is, or how wrong you think he is about certain concepts, or how badly he played his last hand, you must always be prepared for the fact that in this match, right here, right now, you are the loser.
Notice the use of the words "to lose" or "to beat" instead of "to be inferior". It would be fruitless to talk about "being inferior" most of the time unless there is a drastic difference in skill, because skill in poker is not linear. You can have a positive winrate against 3-4 strong regs in your limits, but lose to the worst reg just because something in his game exploits you and you just don't adapt properly. Don't think of a skill as linear, not only because it isn't, but also because such an idea creates unnecessary strain on your ego. Instead, try to tame your ego. If you lose against someone, it's not necessarily because "you are a bad player". It's simply because your style of play has a negative winrate against that person's style of play, so you need to do your homework and analyse the match. But the fact that this player is beating you doesn't have to be built into your ego. It is not a fact about you. It's just that your game is now responding to his game.
This is a very important point, so I repeat: you must always accept the possibility of having a negative winrate. Then you have to be able to leave the match without losing your self-respect. And after you leave, you may not even be sure if you really lost - that's OK. When you leave, your ego will be on fire, forcing you to improve, to find out what you did wrong and to strengthen your weaknesses so that when you come back to the table with the same player, you are ready to move up a notch.
And yet, for many, it can still seem that ego is a bad thing. Of course, perhaps each player needs a different amount of ego in the game. But without it, nobody would be interested in getting over the first plateau of becoming a serious poker player. But once you find your footing, once you start climbing the hill, what good is ego? Maybe it should disappear?
Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying that ego is needed everywhere and all the time, or that selfishness is the highest value we can aspire to. But there are two qualities of the ego that we need to unravel. One is the ego's motivation as a driving force to become better, to rise higher and to be more respected. The second is the ego as a personality trait of narcissism and self-centredness. Of course, the latter is undesirable. These two qualities may correlate with each other, but they are not one and the same. Although, in the end, the struggle for glory is, in fact, inseparable from the ego.
So, yes, let us allow ourselves to be good people. Let's allow ourselves to be sincere, let's allow ourselves to be 
real, let us take care of those around us. But this does not mean that we have to destroy our own ego, instead let us allow ourselves to share another ego. A sacrificial ego.
It takes inspiration to become a great pker. You have to push yourself through the blackest depths. It's not just about money. No good poker player became one just for the money. It's all about you, it's all about your willingness to create yourself and at the same time it has nothing to do with you, it's just poker, it's just climbing the mountain, it's just a mountain. And selfishness and sacrifice at the same time.
So embrace the ego, take it seriously. Be prepared to lose to others, again and again, throughout your career. No matter how successful you are, no matter how much you want to win, no matter how smart you are, you just lose sometimes and that's okay. Feel the never-ending hunger. Hunger to be better, to be the best. Let that burning desire bubble up in your belly. It is only good for you. It is the source of your energy. It will lead you on a path of development that will help you become the poker player you want to be.
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